When do we need Marriage or Couples Counselling ?
Without conscious nurturing of a couple’s emotional and physical bond, overtime, like a plant without water, it will wither. In earlier times, marriage was an ironclad lock "wedlock" on the relationship that was held together with the glue of; duty, obligation, legality, inequity, morality and religion. Today people typically want a progressive and reciprocal relationship where the bond that holds them together is primarily based on deep feelings of mutual love - as opposed to function, duty and obligation.
Signs that your bond is weakening are revealed in patterns of communication that repeat and get worse over time. This leads to increased feelings of loneliness, despair, numbness, resentment, frustration and anger as well as a deteriorating physical connection. Couples then get stuck and cannot move forward in the relationship which can lead to breaking up, separation, divorce,or worse: a life of deep never ending unhappiness.
I will help you uncover these negative communication patterns and assist you in changing these patterns, so you can work together on making your relationship safe and secure. Safety in your relationship will allow for the expression of each of your unique needs, allowing you both to feel emotionally and physically connected a deeper way. When each person can identify and express their needs and realize as well that their partner’s needs are different from their own – then and only then, can we work towards a truly mutual and loving relationship. A relationship in which each person feels their needs are provided for. and taken care of.
We all need to be loved, and be loving, to feel truly fulfilled in our relationships. With this achieved, a secure, safe and predicable relationship can provide long-term stability: the world will be your oyster. You will face the world with all the Joy and even it’s unpredictably in a secure and confident manner knowing that no matter what “we are in a deep love – we have each other and that we are team on the same page”. Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) provides a way to repair, rebuild and strengthen the mutual and reciprocal bond (love) in a couple and has 75% success rate. As a certified EFT therapist with 30 years of experience – I am well positioned help your relationship meet its true potential. Let’s get started today!!
- has there been an betrayal?
- u feel lonely or shut out?
- is there a lack of sexual intimacy?
- do you feel more like a room mate?
- are you tired of fighting or scared to speak your mind?
- do you have communication problems?
- do you feel that your partner is putting other things/people first
- are u trying to recover from a affair, betrayal or deception?
- are u stuck in never ending pattern?
- no matter what you say your partner doesn't get it?
- you have no idea what makes your partner happy anymore?
- you crave emotional and/ or sexual connection but are unable to attain it?
- is your partner unreliable?
- tired of your partner complaining?
- does your partner not appreciate what you do?
- can you not agree on how to raise the kids, deal with the in-laws, or decide on other important life decisions?
- are you in a new relationship that is good but you want to strengthen it for the long-term?
are you loosing interest in your partner and worry about what this may lead to?
You can expect to come for 1.5 hour sessions on a weekly basis for about 25 - 35 sessions. This recommended time frame is the basic rule of thumb in order to achieve long lasting improvements. However, depending on your goals and unique situation a shorter or longer time frame may be required.
There are many therapy techniques that marriage counsellors and therapists use. My practice is based on a well established method called Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) developed in Canada by two leading Canadian Psychotherapists, Dr. Lesley Greenberg (York University) and Dr. Susan Johnson (University of Ottawa). EFT has been validated in many scientific studies and is well known and respected by health professionals and therapists. I have trained with both Dr. Greenberg and Dr. Johnson and have earned a certificate in EFT for couples. The EFT marriage counselling method helps to re-establish the emotional connection that you have had with your partner in the past, or by improving the connection you have by identifying patterns in your communication cycle that are unhelpful. I will help you figure out how to re-connect with new productive communication patterns.